Master Cleanse: Day 1.5

This morning I woke up feeling a little groggy and headache-y. I have low blood sugar normally, and usually eat some yogurt or a tiny bowl of cereal before heading out the door so I'm not a raging monster to all who cross my path.

This morning, I couldn't do those things. I woke up early so I could drink the Salt Water "Bath" slash Top-Down Enema that you must. take. with. enough. time. before. work. so. you. don't. shit. your. pants. on. the. way. I could barely choke the concoction down - 2 tsp "uniodized" sea salt in 1 qt water. UGH. Tasted like I swallowed the ocean. Then I juiced my lemons, measured out the maple syrup (GRADE B!) and dumped in the cayenne to stave off hunger pains. Then I laid down for a few since I felt ick. THEN came the rumblings. Luckily my bedroom's next to the bathroom. Where the hell did THAT come from??

(I then left for the subway to work, carrying my enormous Nalgene full of lemonade "drink." And I must admit, I wore panty liners to prevent any accidents. Seriously, this stuff comes out when it wants to.)

SO HUNGRY... so hungry... trying to rise above thoughts of food. I should choose when I want to eat it, not the other way around! (That's what I'm trying to tell myself, on repeat, broken-record style...) Everywhere there are temptations - from the fries and paninis my colleagues brought into a client meeting today to the bowl of Starburst and York Peppermint Patties near my desk that I walk by every hour since this drink fills up my bladder like it's 1999.

I kind of feel smug, in a way, like "Oh, look at all those slaves to food." But I'm also feeling, "Ugh, I just want to feel a different texture in my mouth - to crunch a chip or chew a sandwich." I'm kind of missing out on a social life this week since I'm not going out to dinners or out for drinks this week/weekend (YES! The weekEND!), but it's probably for the best since I need to heal both my checking account and my darling liver.

More later. I really have to pee.