Master Cleanse: Day 5.5 & Night 6

Woke up at 8 AM this morning, on the couch, lights still on, teeth all fuzzy from overnight growth. Felt sort of awake, but knew with my tiny-but-getting-bigger-by-the-moment headache (which likely could've been remedied with a drink of water, thankyouverymuch Tylenol), that I should just go back to sleep. So I crawled into my bed (sorry, Birthday A, no links here), and slept FOUR MORE HOURS. Was so completely glorious!

Then I woke up and uploaded my photos from last night's party onto Facebook, brainstormed for funny captions, felt semi-guilty that I hadn't finished captioning the Israel outtakes (coming soon, DB, I promise!), but then fell asleep again, sorta. I prepared the salt water enema then, adding a half-quart to the mix b/c I wanted shit to start moving literally and guzzled it (ugh).

(p.s. I'm writing this as the wind is churning outside and I'm slowly realizing that my windows aren't insulated for shit! CMON!!)

I watched a few DVR'd shows as well as "You, Me and Dupree," which was fairly forgettable, and in between watching TV and trolling the interwebs, I half-heartedly starting thinking about what I needed to pack for next weekend. Ahh, next weekend. Not only will I be attending the rehearsal dinner on Friday the 16th, then wedding and reception on the 17th of a very dear childhood friend of mine in Maryland, but my family will be there (J's the best man also) so there's THAT and THEN J (my brother)'s accepting his law degree from Georgetown that Sunday the 18th, which is also his birthday! PHEW. He'll be 29. I can't believe he's almost 30. Yeah, it's a year away, but time flies.

Speaking of time and jumping ahead a few hours, after I got my pedicure (which was awesome - I spent 7 dollars more and got some cool massages and wraps AND got the sweetest nail color, called Peach Daiquiri), I went to Trade Fair to pick up some laxative tea, which I should've been drinking all along. While I was at the store, I figured, hey, why not make the chicken broth that you have to eat when tapering off this diet (planning for Tuesday)? And then, why not get some more food that I love to help me celebrate on Wednesday? Like smoked Gouda and flavored (but healthy - got Kashi! 7 WHOLE grains! I don't skimp.) crackers!

So about the time. The chicken broth recipe calls for thyme, which I didn't have at home. So I went to the spice aisle, which in the crowded Trade Fair, is next to one of the aisles, making it difficult to browse. Luckily some cool people were in the aisle that wanted to help me not have to buy the economy, Hi-I-have-six-kids jar of thyme. To no avail, however... PLUS we then had some playful banter about me having to buy the large jar -- such as, "I could always use some more time," and "Nothing bad about extra time." You get it. It was hilarious. Like Nick Cannon.

Then I just made chicken broth and watched episodes of "House" and "30 Rock" on Hulu.com. Woohoo for an uneventful Sunday. My last day of this godforsaken diet is tomorrow. I've felt like I've lost nothing. The trip consisted of some crazy emotional rollercoasters, but no weight loss as far as I can tell. Unless things change within the next 36 hours, I'm sticking to the old "workout" and "eat right" plan. Blerg.